Every November, I grow a moustache for Movember – the annual event to raise money awareness for men’s health.
I’ve found, probably as a fact of getting old, my moustache gets better every year; better in the sense of being fuller and more well covered.
This year, I opted for a ‘Trucker’.
Toward the end of the month – in an impulsive moment, I thought ‘Ah hah! You know what would suit this look? – An earring!’. I went out and bought a thick earing to put my ear that I’d had pierced and stretched more than ten years ago.
The resulting look was this:
Now – charming smile aside, this look is a bit non-conformist and provocative. It has a theme of villainy (a pirate was most common term used), which was part of the fun of doing it in the first place.
When I was younger, I very much did do the ‘non-conforming expression of personal identity’ thing. Here’s an example:
Since then – my philosophy has more been ‘Having a neutral look opens more doors’.
A non-conforming look can serve as a useful social signal to others with your values; there’s an easy visual identifier, you know that those are ‘your people’.
But this can exclude you from other people who you might otherwise get on well with, when they have to instantly deal with the discomfort, or their ingrained biases, caused by your unconventional appearance. If a man looking like a pirate knocked on your door asking for directions, the first thing you might think is that he’s actually casing your place for gold and plunder.
Also – a non-conventional dress sense is a fairly superficial expression of values; while it’s probably safe to reason that someone with facial piercings and tattoos is more likely to be gay friendly and otherwise tolerant – a better gauge on this kind of thing would be actually having a conversation with them.
Here’s what I’m currently looking like:
This image demonstrates the concern I have – my look is a bit scary.
There’s another reason to consider shaving, or not. Comfort.
The moustache is uncomfortable at times, and I find myself stroking it a bit.
Shaving can also be uncomfortable too; I’m not the best at shaving and I often give myself razor burn. I’m typically most comfortable about three days after shaving with a bit of stubble. A few days after that it starts getting itchy and uncomfortable.
But I what I’ve found, is that even though there are good reasons to shave – there’s an perhaps egotistical resistance to it. I’m aware that a big part of my reason to shave is social conformity – and conceding to social conformity feels like a weakness.
I ended up shaving. Here’s what I look like now.
The earring is still there. I need to go to someone with a pair of reversible pliers to take it out.
I am considering still having an earring, but a smaller one. One that says ‘a bit original and interested in design, but not outrageous’.